Life is full of choices. Even in situations where you might feel stuck – think again. You do have a choice. Sometimes it can be risky and sometimes you fail and need to change the direction. Sometimes the choice is about taking an action but it can also be a choice to think in a new way.

I don’t believe in being a martyr – if you are unhappy at your current situation in life I encourage to take a moment to think about two things:

  1. What are the things that are most important to you in life and are they getting enough of your time?

  2. What are the things that you CAN change (as there are always things that are inevitably out of your reach and there’s no point in wasting time on trying to change these).

Once you start having answers into these questions the direction becomes clearer and it will help and guide you making the right choices.

And as I think it’s important to always bring theories and fancy questions into a practical level, here’s our family’s personal story from behind the scenes…

Photo: Ancira Lloret Campos

Towards a better work life balance

Our family made some big career choices last December. I got offered a 3 months’ full-time project related to building a new startup hub here in Alicante, which in addition to my own coaching business has been part of my own dream job plan already since the year 2012. 

Not very many people actually even know about this side plan, as it has been just a thought in the background for years, but still, it has been guiding my own personal career decisions already for several years. I love working with startups where not even the sky is the limit! I also see that it combines really well with the coaching side as growing startups need strong leadership and high performing teams with a clear focus in order to succeed. It was a chance to get one step closer to all this and I didn’t want to miss it.

So we suddenly found ourselves in a situation that I was trying to handle 3 jobs, 2 kids and home and at the same time my husband was working long days, evenings and even weekends at his job and wasn’t happy about his situation either. And let’s keep it real. No matter how you try, the lack of time easily starts to reflect on the children also and everyone was tense. 

We had already earlier chosen to have our daughter in a small daycare group which was open only 9-14 and felt like it would have been too much for her to change into a full-time 8-18 (!?) daycare with more than 20 children so we wanted to keep her where she was. And even that our wonderful parents in laws help as much as possible, they are also working still so we would have either needed to hire an aupair or a nanny to cope with all this. We talked several times with my husband of what is important for all of us and compared with different options and made a decision.

It was time to switch places!

Luckily nowadays modern companies value their talent and my husband got a few month’s time off with the possibility to return to work after this period and he took over taking care of the children and home while I jumped into the new project. And wow.

What we now might be slightly losing as income, pays off thousand times more in happiness. The children are enjoying so much having dad’s full attention. Dad is happy finally being able to spend time with them and having a break from work after 13 years. And as much as I love my children, I’m thrilled after several years of taking care of them and working at the same time now being able to start my day early with a calm breakfast, sneaking out before the morning circus begins, handling my work effectively and returning home where the family has cleaned up and made even some awesome food! I’m more patient and present as a mom and as a wife. And I finally have time and energy to do things like writing this blog too.

Now after one month of our new life we are sure that this was the right decision for us at this moment. I’m super proud of my husband supporting me in my career and taking a jump of becoming a stay-at-home dad, which is nothing new in Scandinavia but certainly is not that common at least yet in Spain where the remains of macho culture still exist.

I also hope more employers would offer flexibility to support different phases of life of their employees. This would be a key for getting moms to return earlier back to working life from their child care leaves. But that’s a topic that deserves it’s own post some day 😀 

Let’s see what the next chapter of life will bring to us!

PS. If you are in similar situation in life and would like to bounce ideas and get practical tools that help organizing your thoughts and finding the right direction,  just let me know.

  You can book your first 30 min coaching session for free from here!

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